Sunday, April 30, 2006
Lifes indeed a mystery and they fragile...we dun noe hw much someting meant to us till its gone...Im writing dis in favour of someone...to spread dat life is something we shld treasure and every moment spent shld be counted...Tragedy struck mi family last night...Shes gone...I dunno her dat well but i do noe her...and we seem to had converstaion in some time...Seeing her on the deathbed..heartshatteredemotion..although we are nt close still i feel it..lik a knive in ur heart dat carved it out and bleed wit ur stomach churning..the amount of sadness..indescribeable...I tot i would nvr felt dis way animore after mi gramps death..i tot im stronger to face dis but i was wrong...ibreakdown...lik i did dat dae..Death...a word dat feared every man and women on earth...but still i saw her peacefully laying rest...wat iziit??i dun understand...and as i watch mi grama whos too old to stand and spread the flower on her dead sister,all she could do was to pray dat her lovely sister rest in peace..Sympathy for mi grandma...love her...and as her sons which was a tough person and farnie which i noe in mi whole life...Breakdown but still hold his compose...Death seem to break everyone even the strongest person...a son dat so strong and willful came and kiss her on her forehead with tears...a last kiss dat he may nvr get to give animore...i breakdown as i watch these event..i dun understand y though im nt close..maybe its because of a relative feeling inside...something dat hit swtich on when i heard one of mi living realtive pass on or maybe juz dat im weak...wat izzit..sadness?sympahty or maybe guilt dat u could nvr get to noe dat person better..cos they gone...
Hearing mi uncle tryin to cheer himself up...He ask his mum when she was alive and sick..."so where will it be ur last?The hospital or home?" she answered wit a smile..."mi home...Mi sweet home...."As she brought to the graveyard everysome seems to breakdown even more those dat noe her swit soul and smile...in the ground she lays beside mi gramps...Rest in peace....I wish i could noe u better...
6:52 AM
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Nvr blog recently...nvr intend to...nvr wanted to..ashamed...Down...Thinking hard about miself..Thinking hard...Thanks for the encouragement..i sae ting without tinkin in mi desperate time..i guess im kinda lik an idiot...Thought it might help but it turn the other way around...never intended to make u fall..nvr intended to...wanted to tok u out of it...wanted to make u stronger...pick u up...but..i didnt do mi part..But hey i will do better next time cos i noe nw hw to handle if u face someting lik dat...i will keep dat in mind..totally will...and wanna tell u dat "mahalkita" and i realli do!
"Even If it Hurt Urself deep inside Too much To be fwen but if u care for dat someone soo much,u wouldn't mind taking dat hit cos u realli cared"
John "J.D" Dorian--scrubs tv show
1:26 AM
Thursday, April 20, 2006
A very tired and sleepy dae..hahaha a dae out of usual...wake up damn early todae at arnd 630,pass geri's bok den i went to jog..Joggin arnd the road at gambas and was abt crossing den gt dis car dat came in to fast and nearly crash miARGH!!Luckily it stop in time..Phew..damn..so i jog arnd till i was tired man..man its been along time since i jog sia and i swear mi heart cant stop beating fast...lolx..den when home and and prep miself to go to the gym..haha had a lot of workout..rasie barbell and stuff den we went to eat at one of the kopitiam...i was tinkin of eating Yong Tau Foo but guess eating rice... i was dismay..I shld have eat the tau foo...+/ i eat rice wit onli 2 dishes and it added up to be 3 buck!!Argh..2 dishes and its onli 3 buck damn!!hahaha..so we when around walkin at lot 1...hmmm...alot of tings but it kinda boring uh so i tot of walkin at bukit panjang dne it get kinda late so i when home...Reached home i ate mi mum dishes and ahd a short nap..+))Ciao..
4:15 AM
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Todae was a boring day...same ol same ol...wake up and clean up the hse den watch tv and cook mi self a meal...=/hmm kinda gt nthg to do so i slack arnd..play memory frm sugarcult..hahah..on mi own cant wait to jamm soon!!den waited for mi mum to come home bringin out to eat...wah...we went to al-amin and eat...hmmm i luv the milo godzilla...It gt ice-cream sia!!!wohoo!!!yummy...den order some bbq seafood and of cos mi fav.."Kangkong Belacan"whit...nice..hahah.kinda.damn full sia...damn..hmm...went to sani hse and tot of playing cs wit him in his hm den it was kinda late uh we walk to cwp and chill..sani is a damn com genius man!!his hse gt 3 com which he do on his own!hw cool is dat??lolx i wish i gt 3 com to so mi and mi sis woulndt fight over the com!!lolx..Relationship wit mi dad eversince dat ncident..hmm nt worsen uh juz dat we dun tok too much uh...i guess..i shld juz apologise even if its nt mi fault...
"So get back,back,back to where we lasted
juz like i imagine
i could never feel dis way
So get back,back, back to our disaster
My heart Beating faster
Holding On to feel the same
Can I Be Ur Memory?"
Sugarcult--memory
8:30 AM
Monday, April 17, 2006
Oh damn i didnt blog...hahaha...aniwae on sunday wake up damn freakin early and didnt have enuf slp after having the late supper wit mi mum and uncle...hahah...wake up at 7...stupid if gt ebuf person mi fwen didnt call mi to come down and help him as a dishwasher in a wedding..thr goes mi slp..Urgh!haha the weddin was under a block but the decoration..wohoo!!awesome...will learnt hw to do someting lik dat..lolx...den arnd 4 im off to sengkang to take down the decoration in another wedding..rain heavily dis past few daes..=/ went out wit mi fwen on thier bike,went to changi village..on the way thr we saw and accident..gt one of the rider he suddenly fell on the road..Fuck..poor guy man..luckily the traffic isnt dat heavy..he gt some minor scratch on his hand but his ok..at first we tot muz be the rain but smthg was nt right..the road smell lik petroleum and on mi fwen bike i can fell the slippery road...damn...an accident muz happened eariler on..geez..
Den reach at changi we went to buy our food..i always wanted to try the nasi lemak thr cos they sae its the most awesome!!But was in a dismay cos the queue was damn long!damn was tired queing and went to buy a sugarcane juice...haha we chat and tell story of fishin..i dunno why they lik fishin sia..it look lik a borin sport but the tok as though they are on a sport dat require alot of skill!hahaha...went home and saw another accident!At the same spot bt this time round...the motorist isnt dat lucky...ride past the scene and saw the bike head light was crush!The helmet on the side road was break into 2...man...damn..mi fwen rode slowly and i tot he wanted to be careful..nah..wrong..he wanted to see the p plate for the 4 digit..Fucker..damn...haha when home and it was raining!!shit!the rain hit on mi lik thousand of small stone..it was damn hurt!!haha mi fwen sent mi home and im off to slp..damn exhausted...=s till now...i cant blog on todae cos it wsa a boring day..haha...
10:19 AM
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Fuck...If u tink im worthless i prove u wrong..damn..Even if i am im still ur child damn it!!I wont rely on u animore..i change miself!i tink of a way to make it....damn..nvrmind...u see it through...u see wat im made off soon..Shit...
5:51 AM
Friday, April 14, 2006
Waoh todae was a rainy day...haha..went to khy hse and jamm a few song..hahah den we had our crappy session...hmmm well we're learning a song to jamm on wit mi band...hahaha..i kinda love the song kryptonite...its cool sia...and only one by yellowcard the acoustic version have alot of feelings to it..after dat off to senkang to do the weddin decor..i have been promoted to a decor..ok maybe nt promoted but its atleast a breather frm doin the normal tings i used to do..woah its damn confusing and complicated..u gt to get the amnt of space rit for everyting to fit into dat space...started at 830 and ended the whole ting at 1130..went home on mi fwen bike..i swear to u..it was thrilling and scary..on the highway he hit the speed up to 120km/h!!damn..i noe to some its nthg but to mi..oh boi..i can feel everything..the wind,the tremble of the bike and the sound of the wind crashin onto the helmet...Den come the most scary part..up to dis corner and he lean his bike extremely!!i swear,dat mi heart stop beating sia!!haha!!well got home safely,he rode off to the tv!!haha..chiao...
"Could dis be out of line..
to sae ur the only one breakin mi down lik dis
Ur the only one i would take a shot on..
keep mi hanging on so contagiously" Acceptance-So contagious
10:28 AM
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
WOhoo!!finally i get My jack percell...Yeah!went out shopping todae to ease mi trouble mind..get some awesome shirrt at 2001...freakin love dat shop and its awesome tracks it play...hahaha...den head down to esplanade to had mi dinneer,had a barbequed squid..urgh...kind ok la but dun quite lik the taste of the sauce..hahah..hmmm..i wonder wat to do now..it seems i cant wait for skol to start!hmmm they sae dat in ite clementi becareful of the crowds u hang wit,they can influence u to be bad..i hope i wont be ah cos i hate to change the way i am...but i tink thr are at least some beautiful souls thr dat are gd!haha...aniwae i gtg feed the cats..they are cool grwon bigger le...ahaha..being quite a handful to take care off...=/ Hey khy!i will get mi macbeth soon!!haha and the rufio shirt is so awesome its mine man!!all mine!!hahah...aniwae till i update again..hahah cya arnd..i wonder if anione reads dis..hahaha..
6:39 AM
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Was a Great day last night..First thing i wake up in the morning...i was in a rush!!Holy shit i overslpt!!hahaha...Had a quick bathe and went out quikly on mi skateboard..Oh well i was farkin late for mi soccer training...was asked to run arnd the tekong park 2 rounds and made to the crunches for 40...damn....mi stomach hurts..hahaha...well we had a match between ourselve uh...the defenders(my team!!) and the strikers...guess wat we win them!!hahaha...Cool uh?!haha...we trash them 6-4...hahah they even with thier so call diamond cutter...4 boys who perform a diamond shape and so call can strike a goal..haha with mi tough defense?! U aint comn near!!hahaha.... After dat had a tragic time...mi mum call sae dat mi gramps in hospital...i rush off after the match...went to take the tax...=( it was horrible..wit all the tubes and life support system..gosh!!mi heart juz sank...almost came to tears...but hold back...after almost all of mi family came.i went away..to take a breather...went and have lunch wit amar...its his birthday...hahah!!aniwae dat take alot out of mi uh...i mean it like lighten mi mood abit but still..aniwae...i quit mi job...juz quit it for no reason...dats all
"there's nothing else to lose
there's nothing else to find
there's nothing in the world
that could change my mind
there is nothing else
there is nothing else
there is nothing else
Im hanging By the moment here with you"-Lifehouse
7:55 AM
Friday, April 07, 2006
Totally Fuck...I tink i reached mi boiling point...the point i would xplode..feel lik a shit today..totally..im sori bro..its nt dat i dun wan to shake ur hand and make everyting ok...juz dat u didint do aniting wrong..i dunno hw to sae it to u man...i juz feel so tense...so overwhelmed...juz feel useless and totally worthless...to the point where i wish i could juz dissapear...i noe i may sae dat i wan to give away mi cats but unknowingly to miself i noe dat i dun wanna...cos they meant everyting...i luv them so fakin much...maybe juz too much i guess..i noe dat everyting seems so messed up rit now...and it is i admit it...im juz so sick of containing it inside miself...anger,sadness....nvr lettin it out...i seem untouched and nt angry but the truth is mi emotion are takin over mi..i feel so sad dis few dae...i felt hopeless of everyting...Knowin a prob and u dunno wat to do to it...Seeing urself in the mirror everydae and tinkin wat great tings u can do to someone else...these thing doesnt bother mi last time..i seem undisturbed by it...now..its diff...if theres anione reading dis...is thr anione knowing wat to do...i dun... i felt hopeless,i have no one to turn to...someone who can be thr for mi...i noe mi bro is...but i wld juz wish dat somedae...she...would juz leave me a msg...would juz ask mi hw i felt...juz ask mi if im ok?she would juz come arnd the street and saw me...and pick up where we left...wishing....juz wishing...I wish U were here....
For now i hope dat tml im ok...and dat the tings i said todae is juz a nonsensical dream of yesterdae..where i was dreamin of the worse possible ting happen...im so sorrie...maybe i shld juz die...nah...mi mum would be devestated by it...i cant do dat even if i wan to...but hell...maybe i get over dis somehow..maybe i be stronger..maybe..wishing...
9:31 AM
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Today was such a not mi day...hahaha..i...guess..went out to eat and ate a hell lots todae..haha..went to bk to mit char siew and pass her piggy...haha...den went to mac to mit joe,chim and adam...they ate alot..i didnt after havin a heavy lunch decide to drink ice lemon tea..ouh man luv dat lemon tea...den we walk arnd pasar malam and buy a jempedak!!hahaha its call a jackfruit..hahah...While walking mi heart sank...was wishing too see u somewhere but i guess not..damn...aniwae...moving on saw dis old guy perform...tokin abt a monk his master or smthg...den he put a colour dye on a glass saying dat its evil and dat an amulet will help it away..he put the amulet in and...Tadah!~ the water turn white again...hmmm well didnt quite understand it ah actually cos he was tokin in chinese and joseph translate..nt a very good ting to do..hahaha...went home online..tok to char siew...was wishin again..but i guess..it nvr came true...aniwae dats all i guess..haha lookin forward to tml...maybe a brighter dae i hope... =)
9:13 AM
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Decided To create a new blog after much consideration...hahah...
9:34 PM
